i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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