He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
