i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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