she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
