I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
