When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
