i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
