i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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