alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize