listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
