we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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