this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
