bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
