I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
