I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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