real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
