Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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