That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
