You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize