...so i touched it.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
