whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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