just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
