We're facebook friends in real life
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
