There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You did what with his pubic hair?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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