im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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