Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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