I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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