I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
