sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
