Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he fucked my hip out of place.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
