I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
