I wanna bring you to show and tell
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
