yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Small penises have feelings too.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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