my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
