i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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