we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
