Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i came on her dog
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
