i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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