Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
