Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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