can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize