In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
handjob tips. give me some.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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