I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
