I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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