Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
