There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
