It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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