So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
