matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
