No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
