Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
