This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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