Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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