You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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