My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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