if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm both gender and math confused
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
