wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
